Saturday, April 30, 2011

Saturday Favorites

Once again it's Saturday and I'm enjoying it even though it was down pouring earlier this morning. The sun has finally come out and Brian and I are about to go get some chinese food but first here are my Saturday Favorites.




Atonement, such a wonderful book and movie. 

Dracula. 


Christina 







Thursday, April 28, 2011

Thoughtful Thursday

I walk through the valley of shadow of death. 
I see the stars shine so brightly in their orange florescent glow. I watch as they fall and rise with the tide, but yet they peacefully retire to a new day. I'm hoping that the night will come to take away whatever I'm trying to spill to you. I want to open my mouth and let everything pour out. My feelings, my thoughts, my everything; but even if I was to open my mouth nothing but lies would come out. I would trick you into believing something that really isn't there. I'm shallow, I'm mean, I'm everything you want and more. I'm the one that really does hide under your bed, that really does watch you as you sleep. I'm the one that holds you while you are slumbering and sees the smile as my arms incase you in warmth. I breathe on your neck, giving you the goosebumps you wake up with. Do you realize this, or do you just think it's a ghost of your imagination. 

Do you really believe in ghosts or are you one of those people? The ones that believe in lies we cannot prove. Maybe they are right and I'm just the wrong one waiting for something that will never happen. I can't be sure what is real, but I can try to find out; can't I? I'll hunt the afterlife looking for what I thought was true but will only end up in a land so far away I won't remember how to get back to my salvation, to your arms. I'll hold onto what I thinking till my last dying breathe because I can't trust you. You've led me in the wrong direction once before. I can't see how you would know what is right for me, but you seem to think so. What a pity that you really think like that.

The sun won't come out today, it's meaningless to say this......
I'm just looking for someone like you and someone like me. Is that to hard to really find? But don't you worry I'm going to find those people, they will walk with me through this life. I'll find my other half, you know the one hiding in the dark. yeah that one, will find me and we'll dance the night away drunk on the blood. Our laughter will pierce the sky and we'll cry as the moon disappears into the sun. We will fall asleep under the rays of light and awaken back to our world of darkness and decay. Our prayers won't be answered, not by God or by anyone for a matter of fact. 

We'll keep whispering our goals, our hopes, maybe in due time the lords will answer them in ways we can't even imagine. We will keep our eyes close till then, and our minds will be blank for any impression to be made. We will be those whom you can control and tell lies to. We will be your secrets, the ones that you use for your own good. We will sing you to sleep, and watch as you count your money. We are the ones. you may want to know what we are, what we strive to be but your answers will never come. We can't answer you, nor will we speak the language of love to your face. 

I think you would already know that language but who am I kidding, you might know only a bit of it. You couldn't know the whole history, it's too much for your small brain to comprehend. But maybe if I told you upon dying you could grasp some of it's power that it holds over all of us. I really want to go back to 1989 when we use to share the world together. But what happened to that world, where has the sun gone, where has the happiness gone?
My questions won't be known. You're somewhere I can't go. I've tried so many times to find a home that once was mine, but no such luck upon looking. I can't find the signs I need, or the body we buried so long ago. I want my home back, I want my life back, I want the family I use to love back. I need those things back in my life, but what I had those would I be complete like I am now. Or would I fall to pieces right in front of your eyes. 

Answer me this, show me the place where I can't go that you can go. Show me the land of trying that seems to elude me in all my quests. I've sent out my riddles, my equations and yet there seems to be no one that can decode anything that I'm putting down. Where has everyone gone? or am I truly the one gone?

Hope your Thursday was amazing and I can't believe it's Friday tomorrow! Finally, I'm looking forward to some relaxing time with Brian before he leaves for a week (trip to Nashville with his father). I also need to make up some posts for next week since I won't have internet. At least it will give me some time to finish Brian's birthday gift and write. 

Christina 

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Love



"Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering."    


That quote is from the book The History of Love by Nicole Krauss. It's one of my all time favorite quotes ever.  I originally found it on Tumblr and knew upon reading it that I had to have the book it came from. It's an amazing book so if you've never heard of it go read it. Trust me, it's worth it. 


Christina 



Tuesday, April 26, 2011

What I'm reading


I started this today seeing as I just finished The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath early this morning on my bus route to work. So far it's very interesting, I really like the way she wrote her journal. Not a lot of people write in their journals like she does, it seems more like a story than her actually day to day life. As for The Bell Jar, I loved it. I read through it pretty fast (started it on Sunday and finished it today). If you're looking for something new to read I say check it out. 

Christina

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Saturday Favorites

Lately I've been in love with pastel colors, the soft pinks, baby blues and cream colors. A soft peach/coral is to die for. There is a sweater in a coral color at H&M I've been dying to get my hands on, soon I will. Here are some of my favorite pastel things.







This dress is original from Forever 21 however it's not on their website anymore.

Christina 





Friday, April 22, 2011

Thoughtful Thursday (Belated)

So I dropped the ball on this Thoughtful Thursday blog but I will make up for it right now. I'm going to write whatever comes to my mind at the moment so if there are some errors, I'm very sorry. I'll try to fix them as soon as I notice them.

the night, once pure and bliss
is like my soul, dark and amiss
terrible things hide in the depths
like murders, death, and deception 


I don't know why it feels like this, broken, tortured and everything in between. I want to escape normal life and experience things I've only dreamed of. But doesn't everyone want to escape their lives, if only for a few minutes. We change what we feel, our appearance but for what? To achieve greatness? To come as close to perfection as humanly possible? But I'd rather be ugly than what you want me to be.


the lines blurred, everlasting
the shapes of people disappearing
the fog lays flat and consumes me
fear grips me, suffocating
I can't tell you up from down
wrong from right  and black from white
it's coming, never stopping
the pain I've hidden long ago
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To love like the night
only brings death and disease 
to those whom adore and
those whom despise you
To die in the daylight
only brings chaos to those in peril
and calms those influenced


by the devils evil tricks
To burn the soul in winter
sends you straight to hell
and slowly kills off those
whom you loved and cherished


To make love like the wind 
brings angels down from the sky
and brings demons up
to mock and play


To curse the lord's name
brings lighting from the skies
and sores burst upon your flesh
as god gets back for the sin


To read this whole
only makes your mind numb
and your eyes start to bleed
for I'm the only one allowed to read


It feels like I'm blinded, the dark folds over my eyes. I can't see, can't feel, it's like I'm sleeping but I'm completely aware. 


(Everything I write is mine, I created it so please don't steal it.)
Christina

A day off

I've been a bad blogger lately. It's been awhile since I posted but I have a good reason. I've been busy with life and the fact that my apartment doesn't have internet and when I get off work I can't go anywhere for internet (everything closes in St. Paul around 5). I totally dropped the ball on Thoughtful Thursday but I'll post a belated one later on this afternoon.

So I took a day off of work this week, why? No real reason I just wanted a day to myself, coffee, and writing. So far I've eaten lunch with Brian, bought stuff for his birthday and had a good talk with my old boss and I just got a coffee (I made it myself). I'm planning on writing and job searching the rest of the day before we go out to dinner. If anything of this happens, we'll see. I should make it happen but sometimes other things get in my way.

I have a lot of things going through my head right now, lots of business ideas, future goals and everything in between. I've been thinking of what I want published and what I want to accomplish in my life. I've been accepting that I may not ever write a novel, maybe not this early in the stage. I'll wait till I'm a bit older or maybe getting my butt in gear and writing more will make me inspired to write one.

The other thing that's been on my mind a lot lately is job searching. I need to find a job in my new state (I'm not sharing the details just yet but when everything gets finalized I will). I hate job searching only because I feel like I'm never qualified for half of the positions I would want. But in order for me to be able to move I need a job and if we are going to move when we want to I have like 2 months to get one.

Lots of things are up in the air right now but all I know for sure is what I want to achieve. I know what I want to be, now I just need to reach for it. I need to stay positive and keep writing. I know I keep saying that but I need to make myself do it even when I don't feel inspired.


(I've been getting positive comments about my hair, it may just stay this way for awhile)

Christina

Sunday, April 17, 2011

I'm a

 redhead (a very bright copper one) once again. 

I went back to my copper look. I haven't had this color of hair in forever it seems like, it's been pretty dark for a couple of years. It's nice to have something different. I feel and look like a new person.

Christina 

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Thoughtful Thursday

New addition to the blog. I usually spend a ton of time during my breaks at work just writing. What about? Everything. I don't have a certain thing I just write about unless I'm really focused on one of my novels. Lately I've been into just writing a few lines to a story (just something I made up on the spot) and then stopping it at an important moment so that it leaves you wanting more. Or I've just been spilling my brains out. So that's what Thursdays are going to be for, me spilling my brains out. No rhyme to it, no underlining meaning just whatever my brain wants to say. There are no rules, it's just me letting go of everything and writing, even if the subject is lame.

So here it is (this one may be about the weather)

It feels like fall but the calendar says it's April. I dislike that feeling of being in another season when in fact it's the complete opposite. The weather needs to make up it's mind, I can't stand to go from 60 degrees back down to 30. I love getting all dressed up in sweaters and scarfs but not anymore, let me have my no tights dress weather. Since it feels like fall I want pumpkin spice candles bad, I want the smell so fall. I want burning leaves and carving pumpkins. I want Halloween and frost. I want burnt orange and mustard yellow leaves on the ground. Oh fall, how I miss you and feel you around even though it's clearly no where near being your time yet. 


Winter use to be my favorite season but lately it's been making me angry and frustrated. I can't stand to be cold, like freezing cold, it's not for me. I use to enjoy the emptiness that winter brings. That barren feeling you get looking at a field that's completely covered in snow. I can picture it right now. You look out and see nothing but white, it's such an odd feeling to know it goes on for awhile. Sometimes it seems endless, winter that is. The first snow fall is heaven, snow falling at night in the middle of an empty city melts my heart. That's some inspiration right there. The only thing I will miss about this city is watching the snow fall at night, so pretty. But once the snow has been here for months and the temps turn into negative teens that's when I'm ready to say goodbye. 


Summer has never been my favorite season, I enjoy the warm temps but not when it's muggy outside and       I'm stuck to the couch because I'm that hot. The thunderstorms are my favorite. Falling asleep to the sound of rain is lovely. Thunderstorms don't usually wake me up but when I do wake up in the middle of them I feel so at home. A smile grows on my face when I hear that crack and the rain beating on my window. I'm craving a great thunderstorm bad but the tornadoes can stay away. Tornadoes and me really don't get along very well. 


As for Spring well I don't mind it nor do I hate it. The flowers are wonderful as are the spring showers. It helps that spring is right after winter so everything is thankful to see something else besides cold and snow. When the temps start to hit around the 60s I can't keep inside. I love to take walks when the weather is nice and the sun is shining. Nothing feels better than being stuck inside all winter and finally coming out in spring. I just wish this spring would actually get going.


Christina

(There's thoughtful thursday. I hope you enjoyed it. They all won't be about the seasons, this just happened to be on my mind. Sometimes it might be a little story or part of my novel or it will be like tonight and be something random.)

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

When I Grow Up

I Want to Be A:

Veterinarian 
Doctor
Forensic Scientist
Rockstar
Artist Manager
Author
Entrepreneur


As a little girl, I had my mind set on being one thing. Then I was a teenage and my mind changed once again. And now as an adult my mind once again. I want to be a whole bunch of things. I want to be creative and inspiring for people. I want to give people hope and make them realize that if they set their minds to it they can do anything. 

The only thing that's holding me back is myself. I have so many goals I want to reach, so many things I want to do. I've always had a list of jobs I've wanted to do ever since I could remember. I would write pretend songs and then sing them into my hairbrush. I'd spend hours upon hours sitting in my room writing in notebooks. 


Even now as I'm 22 years old I still have no idea what I really want to be but I know it involves having more than one job or business. I would love to be my own boss. I would also love to write tons and tons of novels. Here's to becoming what I've always wanted to be and here's to never letting anything get in my way.


Christina 

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Old friends

It's always great to catch up with a friend whom you haven't seen in awhile. I went to coffee with my old roommate, it had been a few months since we last talked/ saw each other. It was nice to have some girl time too, seeing as I usually am around Brian.

To be honest I missed the bonding girl time we use to have. We use to be joined at the hip, like almost literally. We would watch tons of movies, making dinner (usually hamburger helper) and played hours of Super Mario bros. We even had a math class together in college and would write each other notes during it.  After being friends for awhile we moved in as roommates along with another girl we both worked with.

We had some great times living together for the year that we did. We didn't leave on bad terms I just think that we needed some space from each other since we had seen one another every day for the past year. At that time I was going to move to Portland but some things changed and I never did.

Even when I came back to the Twin cities we never really hung out very  much. She had her life and I had mine. It wasn't that we didn't want to see each other, the opportunity never came up. She was either busy or I was. But none of that is the point here. My point is that it's great to see someone who you considered/consider your best friend. It's been too long since I hung out with a girl that it was refreshing. I love my boyfriend but gosh some girl time is needed.

Here's to many more days like today before I move.


Christina 

Monday, April 4, 2011

Karen Elson and Pushing Daisies

It's no secret that my boyfriend, Brian, loves Jack White. So therefore I know a ton dealing him and his bands and everything he has put his hands into. Earlier this year Brian received a record from Third Man Records. On there it had a song from Karen Elson and all the other singles Third Man has released this past year. Karen Elson happens to be Jack White's wife and a model.  I just bought her album, The Ghost Who Walks, last night and it's amazing. It has southern and dark tones throughout every song and I can't get enough.


That's the first single off of it, which happens to be of the same title. It's girls and music like this that just make me inspired and make me wish I could sing. I think she is absolutely beautiful and her ginger hair is to die for. This album has Jack White written all over it, literally. If you enjoyed the song 'The Ghost Who Walks' I suggest looking into the rest of the album, you won't regret it.


~



Yesterday I started to watch Pushing Daisies on Netflix on a whim, I've heard of the show but never watched it. I got through two episodes before Brian came home and I must say that oh my gosh I love it. It's so creative and the narrator is right up my alley. The characters are funny and lovable and hello Mr. Lee Pace, what a looker you are.  My point in bringing this up is that watching Pushing Daisies brought back my inspiration. I got that itch to write and that's just what I did today. I wrote on all my breaks and plan on finishing up a page or two later tonight. The book I'm writing has a quirky feel to it and this show reminded me of that and gave me some ideas to play off of.

Yay for inspiration being back and for new shows even if it's been over for a couple of years. I'll still enjoy every second of it.

Christina

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Mustard Mayhem

Mustard Mayhem
Mustard Mayhem by Xinamleo featuring stackable rings

If you know me in real life you know my love for all things mustard yellow. I use to have a purse in mustard yellow and I have a sweater in that color as well. I don't know what it is about it but gosh do I love it. I need more of it in my life, a jacket would be great. It kind of reminds me of fall along with burnt orange.

Side note, I really hate looking for places to live and looking for a new job. It's just so time consuming and such a let down at times. I'm looking forward and not looking forward to moving to a new state. I'm excited cause it will be an adventure but it's going to suck moving all my stuff. I need to buckle down and actually start applying for jobs I see and need to start asking places about their apartments and what not. I will get there it's just going to take some time and effort but I know in the end it will be worth it.

Christina 

Friday, April 1, 2011

Dear Spring

Hey,
It's Christina, remember me? I'm really ready for you to be here, the calendar says that you should be but I don't see you anywhere around. I'm craving some warmer weather and the smells of spring rain. I'm craving the green grass and the flowers blooming. You need to tell Winter to go away for once and all. This 'we'll maybe get up to 40 degrees today' thing is getting old. Just get to 40 and start the climb higher, that darn snow really needs to melt. Also I'd love to be able to wear a dress without tights and be able to not have to wear my winter coat anymore. If you could try to get on this, that would be grand. We can be friends but you have to make the effort to. So I'm hoping to see more of you around, maybe next week? Till then,

Love,
the girl whom truly wants spring