Dear you,

Hi.
It's been a very long time and I don't really know what to say. Deep down I miss you, how we acted around each other but at times I don't really miss us all that much. It's weird how it works that way, isn't it? Now I'm not saying that I hate you or anything. I guess I'm just trying to say that I've moved on, we had some great times but it will never be the same ever again. I think both of our feelings got hurt and we just can't forget that. It's a shame, yes but oh well. I moved away but I was never said good bye to. I moved back and both of us never tried to get in touch.

We can both blame life and say that we were busy with other stuff or other people. But I don't think we both wanted really try. I can say that for myself but I'm not going to put words into your mouth. Too many things happened between us even before I moved and that's the way it's always going to be. I never reach out to you and you never reach out to me. We'll say hi and I miss you but I think that's how our friendship is always going to be.

It's quite sad but I just can't make myself get that upset over it. People come and go. Maybe we were meant to be friends for how long we were and then were meant to be broken apart. Maybe it was all part of the game. Do you feel this way? Am I hitting the spot? Do you feel like it's completely over?

You've grown up, I've grown up. We've grown apart and our other relationships have grown immensely. I do miss our chats but not the ones that made me angry or the ones that made me feel like I was ten years old again. I do miss our note sharing during class and the inside jokes that we had. It was a fun couple of years, especially when we both worked together.

Those days will forever be part of some of my favorite memories from college. It was a great time but it was always going to end. We go to college and then we fly away. We go off and live our lives in the way we've always dreamed of. We just never fought to keep what we had built and we're not to blame. I'm not blaming anyone. But I'm not saying goodbye. I'm just saying I still remember those times and the laughs we shared. Those drunken nights were the best. I'll never forget what we had. Maybe later in life we can reconnect in a brand new way once everything has been settled. Until then, I'll be around.

Sincerely,

Christina

Currently

Reading: The Girl that Played with Fire. I got the book a few days ago and I'd say I've made quite a dent in it. I just love the way Stieg Larsson writes, it's breathtaking and just takes hold of you and won't let you go until you've drank up the last words. I love it when I find a book like this. I love it when I'm so captivated by the story that I pretty much breathe, eat and sleep it. That's one of the reasons I love to write, because you become those characters, they are you. You give them voices, give them doubts, and anger and everything else. But if you can bring your reader into your story and have them feel like part of it, then you've done your job. 

Watching: Game of Thrones. I've seen a ton of hype for this show on Tumblr so I thought I'd give it a try. I've only gotten through like half of the first episode but so far I like it. My internet stopped working the other day and I've been at work lately so I haven't had a chance yet to watch it. Though I do have some days off coming up so I'll try to sneak in some episodes. 

Thinking About: Life. There are tons of things I want to do with my life, places I want to go, things I want to experience. Cities I want to live in, well really only two but I've thought about moving there multiple times. I just don't have the means to move there right now though but there comes into play the other question if I do decide to move anywhere. What about him? I'm in a relationship and we're going on 2 and a half years here. It's tricky because I love him and don't want to leave him but at the same time I want to go live elsewhere. I don't mind Iowa but I don't want to live here. I grew up here and that's perfectly fine with me. 

Anticipating: The arrival of The Rasmus's new album, Rasmus. The Rasmus is my favorite band ever. I discovered them way back in like 2005 when the first appeared on FUSE. Oh my gosh, does anyone remember when FUSE was just 24/7 music. It was the best thing ever. But I still remember that day after school when my brother and I sat and watched some show on FUSE and they premiered the music video for 'In The Shadows'. I fell in love right then and there. Ever since then I've been a fan and I've been patiently waiting for their newest album. Sadly I'll have to wait just a few more days, see it's not out in America so I have to have it imported from Finland. 

Working on: Getting in shape. I'm by no means bigger or anything but I have some areas that could use some trimming up. I don't think I'll dive right into some extreme life changing diets but I'll start to eat right more and work on exercising. I've been joking with Brian about getting a yoga mat and trying that out. I've always kind of wanted to try it so maybe one of these days I'll give it a shot. Any tips for a beginner? 

Wishing: For some good news or a phone call or two. Two could be nice but I'll settle for one. I'm also wishing for some extra cash so I could drive home and see my mother. It's been far to long. 

I got this feature from Danielle, over at Sometimes Sweet. I love reading her blog. You should check it out. 

Christina 

Thoughtful Thursday

Arian Behzadi

She dressed in black, as the lipstick stained her lips. The plum color stuck to her teeth as if clinging to life itself. She never wore her hair up it was always wrapped round her face even if the wind wasn't blowing. It felt like home, comfort and love. She could easily hide away when the going got tough or if she was embarrassed. Her eyes were outlined in charcoal, it made the emerald color jump out at you. Her cheeks were matted in tears and blush, a light rose color that made her appear almost doll like. She didn't dare say what was bothering her or why she had just cried. 

It was useless to try to explain, the words would only get stuck on her tongue and make her choke with the emotion she was afraid to show. Her lips parted and that was it. Just the sound of her inhaling and then the soft sigh of an exhale. She quivered as the temperature started to drop, fall was like this. Sunny and warm during the day but as soon as night hit the temperature would plummet. It would frost in the middle of the night, and would shine as the sun woke up. 

Her feet dangled off the swing and she just watched them move absentminded. She couldn't control her limbs anymore than she could control her thoughts. It just happened, they moved without her really telling her brain to move them. Her thoughts would come rushing out like a waterfall and would never stop. She poured her soul and heart into hundreds of journals. They lay strewn across the floor of her apartment like old newspapers. She would flip through them every now and then but mostly there they laid. 

She didn't like to remember what she had felt, what she had needed to get off her chest. But why? Why was she so afraid of reliving those moments? She had some good ones, but some bad ones as well. Though everyone had good and bad memories, she just chose to deal with them differently. 

She finally looked up and out across the park. It was too cold outside for the little kids to play so she was safe. Safe from the questions, safe from any human interaction. It was the way she liked it, if her tongue could stay glued to the roof of her mouth she would enjoy life much better. She hated the forced social interactions, that she always had to say Hi back to someone on the street. She wanted to be alone. 

She wanted nothing more than to lie there and watch the birds fly away. She wanted nothing more than to be really and truly alone.

And she was. 

Blogging

You know I've read so many blogger tips post from various bloggers and usually it's pretty good advice. But I read one today and it just struck me as rude, well not really rude but more so that everyone has to do what she did/does. That everyone has to be a photographer in order to have a blog but what if your blog isn't about that? What if you like doing book reviews? I want to blog, yes but I'm not very good at updating and if I do I just post a ton of words but that's me. I write. I create stories and every now and then I create some art. I don't take pictures of what I wear, because that's just not me. I also don't own a camera expect for the one on my photo and that's not going to give you a good picture of what I'm wearing.

Plus sorry to say this but everyone and their mother does outfit post, not to say I don't enjoy them because I do but what I'm really trying to say is that it's overdone. Everyone that starts a blog does it, it's not a new thing nor do I think it will ever phase out. I'm also not trying to be rude or mean and if I come off as that then I'm sorry. I'm just telling you what I see, well have been seeing.

I don't know, it seems to me that everyone always has advice about how you should go about blogging, how you should do it. It's kind of like them telling you how to be yourself and letting what you truly enjoy shine through. I think that beginning bloggers should figure stuff out themselves, live and learn. But then again half of the people wanting this advice just want free stuff, they want people to listen to them and want to be friends with them. Because deep down we all just want to feel part of something, that's why some of us blog. We want that connection with other like minded people. I know I do.

I don't have many friends (sometimes having your friends as roommates doesn't turn out the best), I pretty much work and then hang out at home. Expect for those few months Brian and I lived in Nashville and Kaelah, Mike, Brian and I were inseparable. Different story for another day. I guess what I'm really trying to say is that the whole blog world has gotten so different from when I was first introduced to it. I get that people change but I feel that some bloggers don't really care anymore. They use to be so personable but now it's nothing but DIY's and other people's post.

I want to know what is running through their minds, how they come up with the ideas. What gives them inspiration, and what makes them ticked. You know? Maybe I'm the only one that has noticed all of this but I hope that it doesn't stay this way forever. We all need to chill out, take a deep breath and just let things happen. You don't have to have a ton of readers in order to enjoy blogging, nor do you need to have tons of sponsors wanting to throw free things at your face. Write what's in your heart and the rest will come and if it doesn't don't sweat it.

There you have it. This has been on my mind all morning and for awhile. If you agree then you agree and if you don't then oh well you don't.

Christina

Currently

Reading: I just finished The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, so I haven't had the chance to start a new book.  Though I've been reading Lord Of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring on and off for awhile now. I got really into in October of last year but then I moved so I haven't really made a dent in it. I'm hoping to pick up a new book, probably the next book in the Millennium series, in a few days. If not that then I have a few other ones I'm looking into.

Watching: The Big Bang Theory. I've always heard good things about this TV show but only have just started watching it like a month ago. I love it. I love the characters, how the act with each other and the overall dialogue. Brian, my boyfriend, seriously asked me to sing 'Soft Kitty' to him last night and all I could do was just laugh. Yes I did sing it to him.

Thinking About: Oh gosh where to start. haha At the moment the most important thing on my mind is a full time job. As of two weeks ago I left my position at Maurices, due to reasons. I don't want to go into detail, let's just say I wasn't 100% happy there. Pretty much it was taking over my life, I complained about it when I was there and even on my days off. Everything just got under my skin and it wasn't very healthy for me. So at the moment I'm working at a different retail place, not the best but it pays me so I'm going to stick with it. I'm applying and searching so let's keep our fingers crossed for some good news soon. That's pretty much the biggest thing on my mind.

Loving: This summer heat in the middle of spring. I love being able to wear dresses every day without tights, it's just amazing. I'm glad that it hasn't gotten super hot just yet though for a couple of days we were getting some muggy weather. I do have a feeling that we aren't done with the coolish weather just yet. Last week was ridiculous, it got down to the 30's at night and we actually had to turn on the heat. What's going on Iowa? I'm hoping that we have finally reached our spring time temps and won't go below 50 anytime soon. Please stay away until November. Pretty please?!

Anticipating: Kaelah's wedding!!I know, I know it's not until October but let me be. I'm super excited to be part of it, I just know that it's going to be magical. I'm grateful that Mike and Kaelah want Brian and I to be part of their big day. Plus we have an awesome wedding gift planned, if I do say so myself.

Listening to: The TV, I don't have any music on and I'm not sure about what is on. I have this small tv in my room and like only 10 channels work so I never know what's on.

Feeling Thankful for: Brian, my friends, and like everything. It's one of those days were I'm just glad to have a roof over my head even if my situation isn't the must ideal one. You got to roll with the punches.


Christina

I got this feature from Danielle over at Sometimes Sweet. I've always loved when she does this so I thought I'd give it a try.

Book Review: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

'Harriet Vanger, a scion of one of Sweden's wealthiest families, disappeared over forty years ago. All these years later, her aged uncle continues to seek the truth. He hires Mikael Blomkvist, a crusading journalist recently trapped by a libel conviction, to investigate. he is aided by the pierced and tattooed punk prodigy Lisbeth Salander. Together they tap into a vein of unfathomable iniquity and astonishing corruption.'

This is one of those books that I've picked up multiple times but just haven't committed to buying it. I'm not sure why. I just wasn't 100% sure if I was going to like this book or not. I'm glad that I finally bought it because it was great. And I know everyone and their mother has read the book but I just had to see what all the buzz was about. (That's what I did with The Hunger Games and I loved those books.) 

I felt that the beginning was a bit slow, though I read though it pretty fast. It was filled with lots of details about the characters which was nice because you got to know them and be part of their life. But I was dying to get to the mystery surrounding Harriet Vanger. I do love me a great mystery/murder novel. I was hooked after reading the about the day that she disappeared and had to keep reading. The further Mikael went in the rabbit hole that is the Vanger family the better the book got. 

I don't want to spoil the book or anything so I won't go into detail about certain scenes or the ending. But let me just say that as much as I loved how Mikael and Lisbeth figured about the mystery about Harriet I just wish that it had been a different story. (SPOILER: Deep down I wish that she had been murdered by a member of the Vanger family.) The closer between Lisbeth and Mikael got the more I wanted them to be together. I think they make a great detective pair and it just goes to show you that it doesn't matter how you look because you never know what's deep down. 

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone that is looking for a new read and is looking for a thrill ride. I'm planning on reading the other two books in the series, The Girl that Played with Fire and The Girl that Kicked The Hornet's Nest. I'm excited because I know the other two books will be fantastic just like this one. 

If anyone else has read this book, I would totally love to discuss it. 

Christina