For every time I thought of a new story idea that I never used I would be rich, or least have some money in the bank. Thinking of new ideas has never really been a hassle for me, my real problem is actually getting all of this to paper. It's quickly getting those words written down before the ideas spill out of my gapping mouth.
I have multiple stores started, ones that I probably won't finish, though I like to think I'm actually going to. Some of them are so old, from back in very beginning of high school that I don't even really remember what my motivation was. I have two journals filled with just one story, only one other person has read that one. It's kind of embarrassing to go back and re-read the story, it's not that good. I can say with honor it's a fan fiction of a certain anime show. What can I say?
I have stories of vampires old and new just sitting in a document growing bored and old with dust. They long for that touch that only a writer can give to a piece of work. They long for the warmth of my love and for recognition of their story. I can only give them so much attention before I finally loose steam and their stories fall of a cliff, never to be seen from again.
I think I'm only going to be good at writing short stories, I find it easier to create and destroy something within the capacity of a few pages than a few hundred. Though deep down there is a part of me that wants to dominate the beast that is a novel, I want to hold the final copy in my hands and just bathe in the glory that one feels when completing something only dreams are made of.
Maybe one day, one of my ideas will hit me with such force I'm bound to create the worlds bubbling inside of me and maybe then I'll be able to look down at my creation and smile with pride. It's getting of this inside of my head down to paper. I'm such a terrible person at making myself actually focus on my goals. I need to write more, I need to update this more, I need to dream more.
I must start a dream journal, even if it means remembering the ones that wake me with a start. There are times when I try not to remember my dreams. The ones that even after I wake up from them, it still feels like I'm trapped inside of it. The ones that after you've woken up as soon as your close your eyes again it's right where it left off, yes those. I hate those, they drive me mad and make my night a terror.
Maybe that is my answer though, maybe those dreams that give me the creeps is suppose to help me with the matter at hand. One can only hope. So with that I'm off to read before I must go to bed.
Christina
